


Covalent Bonds

by blue_pointer



Series: A Glorious Retelling [42]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bisexual Possibilities, Canon Timeline, Comedy, Deep Thoughts with Two Idiots, Denizens of the Moonbrush, Dirty Sketches, Don't copy to another site, Feywild Arc (Critical Role), Garmelie's Gilmore fixation, Gilmore as a cartoon dragon, Good Friend Grog Strongjaw, Grog is smarter than you think, Humor, M/M, Minor Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Polyamory Negotiations, The Feywild, Threesome, Trolling, Vax considers Grog/Vax, Vax is bad at sharing, Vax the Dragonfucker, Vax/Grog?, Wishers, bisexual confusion, bisexual disaster vax'ildan, minor Shaun Gilmore/Grog Strongjaw, roasting your friends, sharing is caring, when a pervert accuses you of being a pervert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28581498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: In which Vax and Grog talk relationships and sharing, polyamory and secret threesomes.
Relationships: Grog Strongjaw & Vax'ildan, Scanlan Shorthalt & Grog Strongjaw
Series: A Glorious Retelling [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Covalent Bonds

A lot had happened since Vax had awakened alone in his bed this morning. Had he been disappointed that Gilmore hadn’t stayed for breakfast? A little. Had Vax been relieved that he hadn’t been forced to “come out” to Keyleth about the nature of his relationship with Gilmore--not to mention that he could summon Gilmore to his bedroom at any time? Definitely. 

But things had gotten more serious very quickly. A ghost bear, being forced to almost dance himself to death, getting threatened by a clan of werewolves, and now they were on the verge of an all-out war with a city full of pixie wizards. 

Vox Machina was exhausted, and they needed sleep. In spite of the fact the Wishers were patrolling the forest for them. Regardless of the fact the enemy had seen Keyleth in Minxie form and tried to cast spells on her. At a certain point, lost in a confusing landscape where it was night forever, and they were being stalked by werewolves, they had to sleep. 

And so, as Vax returned to camp to find Keyleth back safe, most of the party curled up and went right back to sleep, in spite of the danger. It seemed like the only viable option while they waited to see what the Wishers would do. It’s not like they could leave the forest. 

Because Vex’ahlia and Keyleth needed sleep, Vax reluctantly agreed to keep watch with Grog. Reluctant, because he would have much rather been spooning Keyleth. “You can cuddle with me,” Grog said, jokingly. 

“Don’t offer that,” Vax said, thinking of the roleplay they’d done to shock the Verdant Guard in Syngorn yesterday, and how satisfying it had felt to lead Grog around on a makeshift leash. 

“I know,” Grog said, sounding resigned to Vax’s bisexuality. But did he really know? Vax wondered. His attitude toward Grog had changed in recent days. Vax couldn’t say why or when precisely. Certainly it had changed since Grog had chosen Vax to fight beside him in the Trial Forge. They had been unspoken friends and allies since then, but this was newer. Perhaps since Vax had thrown a fit over Grog’s night with Gilmore. 

He knew now that nothing had happened. But somehow, knowing Grog had kissed the man Vax loved opened up new possibilities for Vax. If Grog thought Gilmore was hot, that meant Grog might be open to other male partners. And if Grog was open to other male partners, that meant Vax was allowed to be attracted to Grog. 

Was that it? Had Vax hated Grog so much in the past because it hadn’t been safe to be attracted to the straight, beefy goliath who could have cleft Vax in half for hitting on him? This bisexual possibility was new. So new, in fact, Vax wasn’t really sure what to do with it. So he tucked those feelings away for now. They would resurge later, doubtless, as they had just now with the snuggling remark. There was just one more thing Vax wanted to talk to Grog about. 

“Grog,” Vax began. “You know, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” 

“Uh oh,” Grog said, assuming that this was never good. And he was right. Mostly. 

“I talked with Vex’ahlia after that whole thing happened in the mansion in Westruun.”

“Wot thing?” Grog asked.

Vax bit his lip. “You know, the whole thing with you and Gilmore, and Scanlan was spying on you and then he lied about it?” 

“Yeh,” Grog said, knowing what Vax was talking about for once. 

“Well, I guess I never said I was sorry to you. For believing Scanlan.”

“Well, Scanlan is very believable,” Grog said, being very reasonable. 

“Yeah, but. That was wrong. If you said nothing happened, and Scanlan said something did, I really should have believed you, well...because you’re my friend.”

“So’s Scanlan,” Grog pointed out.

“That’s true.” Vax tried to hide a smile. Scanlan was probably the third closest to him of all of them in the group. “But the thing is, Scanlan lies. And we know this, because he lies for us all the time. So I should have known to take what he said with a grain of salt.” 

“Okay, hold up,” Grog said. “What’re you really saying here?” 

“Well.” Vax paused. “I guess ‘sorry.’ And also...well, do you really like Gilmore? Why did you kiss him?” 

“Well, like I said, I thought I was dreaming.” At least Grog wasn’t getting as angry or defensive as the last time. Maybe he’d grown?

“Okay, but what would make you want to kiss Gilmore if it was a dream?” Vax asked, hoping to get a straight--or perhaps gay, was more accurate--answer out of him this time. 

“I like Gilmore,” Grog said. “I don’t care if you make fun of me. He has pretty eyes, and he’s really smart. I’m not, like. Gonna marry him. But I do wonder what it feels like to kiss his lips sometimes--only now I don’t, because I know.” Grog looked down at Vax, a little apprehensive about how Vax was going to react to this statement. 

“You know, you’re not wrong,” Vax said, thinking. Gilmore’s eyes had been the first thing that had drawn Vax in as well. “I mean, I’m with Keyleth, so I can’t really tell you what to do, Grog. But I suppose...if you wanted to pursue Gilmore, there’s not much I can say against it. I mean, obviously, I think he’s pretty great.” Vax wasn’t quite sure what he was saying, but he’d been mulling over this sharing proposal Gilmore had made Keyleth. Maybe sharing was the fairest thing, given the situation.

“Gilmore said consent,” Grog said gloomily, looking down at his boots. “He just wants to be with _you_. Hey, are you really with Keyleth?” 

“Yeah.” Vax nodded. “Pretty much. I mean, it’s not formal yet or anything, but yeah.” 

“So you don’t wanna be with Gilmore anymore. Even though he loves you?” 

That hurt Vax’s heart. “No, I love Gilmore. I’ll always love Gilmore. Just. It doesn’t seem fair to keep him from being happy with someone else, when I’m happy with Keyleth.” 

Grog scratched his head. “So. You love him, but you want him to be happy with somebody else?”

Vax shook his head, confusing himself. “I just want him to be happy. I’m not sure I’m the only man who can do that.” 

“Well, you are kind of a downer,” Grog said. When Vax looked up, he was smirking. Vax elbowed him playfully. “Look,” Grog said, getting serious again. “I might do it, like. If I thought he was interested. But I’m not sure if Scanlan would make fun of me again. Do you think he would?” 

“Probably,” Vax admitted. “That seems to be his go-to. I suppose it’s just a matter of whether you feel more strongly about being made fun of, or more strongly about Gilmore.” And suddenly it was like he was giving advice to himself. “Shit.” 

“Wot?” Grog looked around for the shit in question. 

“Gods, I’m so mixed up.” Vax clutched his forehead. 

“How come?” Grog asked. An innocent question.

“Well, when you say it like that, I get...I get weird. I get kind of upset. But in my mind, if you wanted to pursue Gilmore...and he was willing, well. I can’t really say anything, can I?”

“You can’t?” Grog said. “But he’s your boyfriend, right?” 

“Wot--no,” Vax said, his knee-jerk answer for whenever that question arose. 

“But Keyleth is your girlfriend?” Grog asked, trying to figure it out.

“Well, kind of,” Vax said. “Though she hasn’t really said as much in words.”

“So, like. Your liking Keyleth is kind of how Scanlan likes Pike?” 

“Oh god.” That made it sound terrible. “No. No, Grog. Keyleth likes me, too. She’s just afraid to say so.”

“Ohhh, I get it.” Grog winked. “She’s afraid to say so, so it only _looks_ like she’s not interested.” He nodded. “Like the way Pike is interested in Scanlan, only she doesn’t want to marry him, and she doesn’t like when he kisses her without permission.” 

“No.” Now Vax was getting annoyed. “I do kiss her with permission. A lot. Just not out in the open for all to see.” 

“So no one can see it,” Grog said. “But it’s still real, and it’s consent.” 

“Right,” Vax said.

“Are you sure it’s not just in your imagination?” Grog asked. 

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me,” Vax said. And then Grog grinned. “You arsehole!” He punched Grog in the arm. Hard. Of course, the goliath didn’t even flinch.

“Right, so let me get this straight,” Grog said. “You love Gilmore, and you hug and kiss him in public and stuff but like. Keyleth is your girlfriend, even though she didn’t say so, and she only kisses you in private.” 

“She does more than kiss me in private,” Vax said, still feeling defensive.

“Look, it’s not my business what she does with your privates,” Grog said. “I just wanna know, are you breaking up with Gilmore? Because I feel like he deserves to know, if you are.”

“I don’t want to break up with Gilmore.” Vax realized he was telling himself as well as Grog. 

“So you probably shouldn’t, then.” Grog wasn’t wrong. “Wait, are you like. Doing one of those things me and Scanlan do sometimes? Where you’re offering to share Gilmore with me?” 

“You wot?” Vax asked, afraid to find out what he meant. 

“Yeah, so sometimes me and Scanlan will like the same lady friend for the night, and so we’ll just. Take turns. Or pick an end. Scanlan doesn’t like me to talk about that, but it’s happened. Lotsa times.”

Vax was really trying not to picture it. But it was impossible _not_ to. “Okay, Grog, for the record? I will never share Gilmore with you like that.” And it had nothing to do with size insecurities or inadequacy concerns, oh no. “But. Maybe I am? In a sort of. While I’m with Keyleth, maybe it’s okay if you’re with Gilmore kind of way?” 

“Keyleth is gonna be there, too?” Grog asked. 

“I give up,” Vax said, having worked his brain into knots. 

“Er, should we be worried about those twinkling lights over there?” Grog asked. And then both of them had much bigger things to worry about than sharing sexual partners with friends. 

*

Now that the Wishers and their wall that had surrounded the forest were destroyed, it was time to rest before Vox Machina set off for the Gilded Run. “Garmelie,” Vex’ahlia asked. “Did you sketch us during the battle just now?” 

As always, the faun was defensive about his sketchbook. But Vax solved that problem, lifting it from his grasp while Garmelie was busy making excuses for having sketched during a life or death battle where he was not helping Vox Machina at all. Finding the pages where he’d sketched the battle, Vax turned to show the others. 

“Let me see that,” Scanlan said, taking the sketchbook and flipping further back, to see what other offensive drawings Garmelie had done of them in the past two days. “Doesn’t that look like Vax?” Scanlan asked, showing whatever page he was looking at to Grog. 

“Yeh.” Grog nodded. “Yeah, it does.” He looked up at Vax. 

For his part, Vax didn’t care to see any more doodles of him making out with his sister, thank you. But, out of curiosity… “Do I want to know?” he asked Scanlan. 

“Weeeeeeeeellllllll…” _Oh no._ This sounded bad. 

“You’re fucking a giant lizard,” Grog said plainly. 

“A wot?” 

“Hey, Keyleth,” Scanlan shouted over. “What kind of lizard is this?” Grog held up the sketchbook for her to see, with Garmelie down below, trying to jump high enough to get his sketchbook back from the goliath.

“That’s mine!” the satyr whined. “Give me back my dragon!” 

“Oh.” Keyleth looked scandalized. “That’s supposed to be a dragon?” 

“Let me see that!” Vax said, snatching the book out of Grog’s fingers. The cartoony sketch showed a cross-eyed and drooling Vax, penetrating a large, scaly creature from behind. Eerily, the background looked kind of like his bedroom. And from the position…

“It **is** a dragon!” Scanlan said, smiling broadly. “Vax is fucking a dragon. Well, that’s one way to take care of the Chroma Conclave!” Grog guffawed, and Scanlan continued, “We should get you a cloak that reads ‘Dragon Fucker - Satisfaction Guaranteed’ on the back.” 

What really bothered Vax was that the dragon had a familiar-looking goatee, and wore rings on every claw and through what passed for his ears. But how could Garmelie have seen him with Gilmore? He’d been locked in his room, hadn’t he? And why had he drawn Gilmore as a ridiculous cartoon dragon? “What is this?” he looked at Garmelie, demanding.

“I draw whatever inspires me,” the faun said, haughty. “Now, if you’d give me my sketchbook back--” 

Grog took it while Vax was distracted. “Wait, there’s more.” He began flipping pages while Scanlan looked over his shoulder, commenting on the sex positions depicted. 

“You little pervert!” Vax said, glaring at the satyr. 

“One might argue that you deserve the title more than I, young half elf,” Garmelie shot back. 

“Shut your mouth!” Vax said. 

Vex’ahlia laid a hand on Vax’ildan’s arm. “He’s just trying to troll you. Don’t let him get under your skin. It’s not like anyone here really thinks you fuck dragons.” 

Two arms shot up. “I do!” Scanlan said. 

“Me, too,” Grog nodded. 

“Give me that book!” Vax said, diving for it. 

“Awfully touchy for someone who doesn’t fuck dragons,” Garmelie said, grabbing the book and going invisible before Vax could get his hands on it again. 

“As soon as you show yourself again,” Vax called out. “That book is mine, you little pervert!”

“Good job porking a dragon,” Scanlan said, giving Vax a congratulatory slap on the ass. 

“I know Garmelie’s just being weird,” Keyleth said, trying to make Vax feel better. 

“I thought it rather amusing,” Percy said, with one of his shit-eating grins. 

“Fine, then have him draw _you_ fucking magical creatures!” Vax spat. 

“Oh, I’ve no doubt he has,” Percy said, looking far too pleased with himself. 

*

Seeing the waters of the Gilded Run in the distance, Vox Machina retreated to the relative safety of the Moonbrush and climbed into the canopy to rest for the night. Maybe it wasn’t the safest place to camp, but now that the lycans were on their side, it was probably safer than the forest floor, since they still did not fully know what was down there. 

It was too bad Scanlan had used up his most powerful spell slot in the battle and could not cast his mansion for all of them to sleep in. Vax especially missed it. And his comfortable room, with more comfortable memories... He would have liked the time alone to think about what he and Grog had talked about, because Vax still wasn’t clear about what he’d been trying to say. 

The longer he thought about it, Vax did not want to share Gilmore. But wasn’t that more fair? Knowing Grog could be attracted to men, Vax didn’t hate the idea of sharing with him. But was it Gilmore Vax really wanted to share, or was it Grog?


End file.
